Malay WeddingThe trace of henna artwork on the hands after a Malay wedding, silently reminds the world about the newlyweds throughout the honey moon period.
Another term for henna artwork is Mehndi where henna is applied as a temporary form of skin decoration particularly during weddings to signify fertility and love. Hmmm to me, this is very romantic.
This marriage custom is also practised in India, Pakistan, Bangladesh, Sudan and Morocco where elaborate designs are drawn on hands and feet. Why hands and feet? Because these are the parts of the body where the dye lasts longer. Mehndi is the equivalent of "Adat Berinai" in Malay wedding, carried out in three stages. The groom takes part only in the final stage. Traditionally, the first stage is 3 nights before the wedding in which only families participate. The next night, come other relatives, riends and neighbours for the second stage and on the wedding day itself, all the guests take part.
Imagine yourself as a guest at a Malay wedding. The bride is sitting on a dais with hands on her lap. Now it is your turn to bless her, what should you do? First of all, look for a pedestal tray in front of her. At the centre, You see an octagonal container with fine henna paste, around it there are plates of yellow-coloured tumeric rice ( beras kunyit ), fried rice grains ( bertih ) and tepung tawar water. With your fingertips, take some beras kunyit and scatter to the left and right of the bride, followed by some bertih and then pat some tepung tawar water on her hands. Finally take a pinch of henna and smudge on her palms. Menfolk start the berinai ritual, beginning with the oldest in the family: grandfather, father, uncle etc. The number of men who participate must be odd i.e. three, five or seven. Then it is the womenfolk's turn.
You dried the henna leaves, finely ground them and filter with a cloth at least twice to remove any coarse fibre. Mix with oil and water to produce a paste. Apply to hands and feet according the chosen designs. By the way, this is a job for a...Mehndi artist.
Its seems there are different techniques to dry the paste, you can either wrap the dyed area with tissue, plastic, medical tape or apply a solution of lemon juice and sugar. Wait 2-12 hours. ( Quite a long time ) The result could range from light orange to deep brownish black. I found this lovely henna artwork on Wikipedia. No wonder it is fashionable since 1990's!
Groundwork Nowadays it is rare to enquire about the availability of an intended bride. Still, a couple has to go through the processes of formal proposal and engagement before the adat berinai. For the engagement, the future groom presents to his bride-to-be mainly a container for betel, a ring and other gifts. If the future bride has an unmarried older sister, he has to send her gifts as well. The number of gifts are again in odd numbers, as even numbers are considered inauspicious in a Malay wedding. The bride reciprocates with more gifts for the groom. Usually the groom's mother puts a ring to the bride's finger to complete the engagement.
Solemnization Being devoted moslems, Malays of couse, solemnize their marriages according to the Islamic laws. A Kadi and two witnesses of the bride inspect the expenses, dowry and gifts from the groom. The Kadi also gives a sermont on marital responsibilities before shaking the groom's hand and utters: " Aku nikahkan dikau( bride's name ) dengan mas kahwin ( the amount according to the state ) tunai" To which the groom is expected to respond: "Aku terima nikahnya...( repeats after the Kadi )" The witnesses have to be satisfied that the groom said it loud and clear. Otherwise, the groom has to repeat his line. ( I can imagine how nervous a groom can be under such circumstances ) This is followed by a prayer, then groom puts a ring on his bride's finger and they shake hands ( not the western style ) but the Malay style, bersalaman. Hurray! They are officially, husband and wife. But...they are still spending the nights separately in different houses. They have to wait until the marriage ceremony, hari bersanding. Climax of Malay Wedding The marriage ceremony is actually held twice, first at the bride's residence then the groom's. The former occasion is grander because this is where the new couple sits together on a dais.
The groom arrives with his throng beating kompang drums and parading bunga manggar. He is welcomed by a shower of beras kunyit and a performance of Malay martial art ,Silat. The groom does not forget his main intention - to claim his bride. However, he has to bargain with with the ladies of the house to let her go. After paying a price , the groom is allowed to sit on the dais, pelamin, with his bride. At the end of the feast, the couple bersalaman ( I feel this is better than saying shake hands ) with their parents, relatives and guests. Instead of cakes, the guests to a Malay wedding receive bunga telur.
Malay Wedding Word List gotong royong :work together bersalaman :shaking hands by holding the hand of the other party with both hands, withdrawing your hands slowly towards your chest bunga manggar :a pole decoratd with coloured papers to resemble palm blossom bunga telur : literally, egg and flower, egg decorated with flowers or inside a container as a symbol of fertility kadi :judge of Islamic laws
The following week, another wedding reception is held at the groom's house. Some folks keep it simple by just having a doa selamat or prayer session. In some places, the newlyweds take a bath of lime water to symbolize that they are finally united. After a few days at the groom's house, the couple visits their families and relatives to get acquainted. *If you wonder how is it possible to finance a wedding like this, I recommend a short story entitled: " Of Bunga Telur and Bally Shoes" by a Kelantanese lady, Dr Che' Husna Azhari. Briefly it is about a young man planning for a Malay wedding...I have to let you read the ending for yourself because that's the best part. :) ___________________________________________________________________ Royal Malay Wedding in Perak Neon lights forming the words " Allah berkati pengantin diraja" glittered along the river bank cheered by fireworks when the dashing Crown Prince of Perak got married. May 17,2007---300 were present to witness the solemnization at the palace of Iskandariah, Bukit Chandran, Kuala Kangsar. Raja Dr. Nazrin put a gold ring on the finger of Tuanku Zara in exchange for a silver ring from her. She kissed his hand and he, her forehead at the end of the ceremony. May 18, 2007 --- Sultan of Perak Azlan Shah bestowed royal titles upon Tuanku Zara, officially making her the Crown Princess of Perak. May 19, 2007 --- Royal bersanding ceremony at the palace. The couple, dressed in royal colour yellow, sat on thrones to receive blessings from well-wishers. This was followed by a royal banquet. P.S. You can't call them " raja sehari", right...? :) Prince Nazrin was said to have turned down government's grant and would rather use his own money to finance the wedding which was held on a modest scale. A press statement from the palace said traditionally there are five stages for a full ceremony : meminang, akad nikah, berlimau, bersanding and bersiram sampat. To comply with the Prince's wish, this was simplified to three by eliminating berlimau and bersiram sampat. Remember I mentioned the royal couple greeted each other by exchanging rings after solemnization? This ceremony is called " membatalkan air sembahyang" and for the royal version it was supposed to be accompanied with "adat menghalau pelak jembalang". It seems that all the ceremonies related to " buang sial" were done away with for Prince Nazrin who married a stunning Kedah Princess that used to be in charge of a software company. A simple royal Malay wedding, yes...that fullfilled the wish of Perak folks for a Crown Princess. They had been waiting for 20 years.
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