Cari! Stories of Blunders in Bahasa Malaysia

Cari! I am searching for blunders and/or bloopers in Bahasa Malaysia.  Do you have any that you would like to share with me and the visitors of this website?  If I select your story to be published here,  you get a little reward in the form of:

1) RM30 for a story below 100 words

2} RM 60 for a story between 100-150

3) Nothing if I don't publish your story.  ( Sorry, I got lots of emails which have to go straight to the recycle bin )

The main criteria as follows:

  • Must be your original work not published elsewhere.
  • Must be a true story.  E.g. your own experience or the experience of someone you know.
  • Must be related to Bahasa Malaysia/the Malay Language.
  • Bahasa Indonesia would be considered too if the story could be easily understood by Bahasa Malaysia speakers.
  • Be kind.  Don't hurt feelings of another human being.
  • No politics.  No religion.
  • Family-friendly.

You may write me in all the four languages used in this website.  It doesn't have to be grammatically perfect. Yes, you can send as many stories as you like. Please include your name and  email address in case I fall in love with your contribution. Your privacy is my priority. I am anti-spam so I will never sell your email address to cari makan.  If you don't hear any news within two days that means sorry! Try again next time...I can send the prize money through banks within Malaysia.  But if you are outside of Malaysia, it has to be via paypal, in the current US dollar equivalent value.

You may reach me by typing into the spam-proof electronic form below:

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Some memorable lines from my acquaintances:

Cari Susah

An expatriate guy was eager to show consideration to his new Malaysia acquaintances. He wanted to say in simple sentences that he understands everyone has their own problems. This was his introduction:

"Kamu ada susu, saya ada susu, kita semua ada susu!"

He had been saying this to people until he met Kenny my friend who kindly told him it should be susah instead of susu...

Never mind the bahasa pasar, at least this guy made his point. In view of the unsavoury connotation of susu in this context, I must commend my gracious fellow Malaysians who happened to be his listeners. He could have ended up cari bala. After all, he is not a stunner as my Korean lady friend who calls all taxi drivers in Kuala Lumpur: " Abang!"

Siapa Siram?

I used to have headaches teaching a little girl whom I shall call Ann here. You see, she is the daughter of my mother's boss ( He's a millionaire ), thoroughly spoiled and resents correction. The problem is, she made classic mistakes of non-native speakers.

I was not surprised while we were doing a lesson on ayat pasif, she wrote " Ann disiram oleh bunga." as the passive form of " Ann menyiram bunga." However, I just had to bury my face in my palms, struggling to overcome the mirth.

With a hand still trembling from laughter, I drew a stick figure of Ann watering a flower and another picture of the same flower, enlarged and holding a watering can, watering Ann's head. She got the point immediately. I couldn't stop her laughing at herself throughout that lesson.

I am happy to announce that her ayat pasif is excellent now, so are her listening and oral skills. Sometimes, the creativity of her writings astounds even me. Best of all, she is no longer a brat. I must say it's worth cari jalan to address a blunder diplomatically.

The national language of Malaysia as Bahasa Melayu and /or Bahasa Malaysia is a joke.

A Contributed Story About Malaysia Jalan Sehala

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