Body Language and Bahasa Malaysia
Even if you don't speak much Bahasa Malaysia, the body language can sometimes convey emotions of a Malaysian to you and the same can be said vice versa. A friendly smile is always understood, isn't it? Are you an expatriate? Then please take note that the predominantly Moslem population in Malaysia may be more conservative. It is advisable for ladies to consider where they are going before choosing what to wear. Places of worship such as the pink Putra Mosque calls for modest attires. You may dress up more casually for the beaches. I am sure you know that nudity and being topless are absolutely no-no's. How about swimsuits? A good thumb of rule - depends on how much attention and unwanted attention you desire. As for men's bare torsos at the comfort of their own homes, I am always deeply touched and honoured by men who quickly went into their rooms to wear shirts at the sight of my presence on a very hot day.
Body Language of Your Hands
Without looking at the face, movements of the hands tell a lot about your manners. Which hand should you use to eat a delicious banana leaf meal of rice and fish head curry...? Use your right hand. Which hand should you use to give out a juicy mango? Your right hand...too. The left hand is generally used for washing after going to the toilet and therefore deemed unclean. How should you respond when a Malaysian friend gives you a present? Accept it with both hands and open it only AFTER you friend left. For me, there is nothing wrong with opening a present in front of the giver but it is just not part of the culture here. Businessmen should take care to do the same thing with business cards. If you are interested to close a deal, don't casually flip the card into your pocket, examine the card a bit first for courtesy sake.
To shake hands or not is a matter of where you are and who you meet. I live in a Malaysian community where members of the opposite sexes are comfortable with handshakes. But salam is a part of our culture that I always cherish, especially when younger people approach me to touch my hands warmly and then bring back their hands to the breasts in a most respectful manner.
Body Language of the Fingers
I have no patience to do shopping and when I am obligated to shop, I tend to rush. Once I was hurrying through hundreds of women's personal items in a supermarket and I didn't take note of the sales promoter on duty. You know how helpful these sales ladies are, since that's how they earn commissions. A hand appeared in front of me and pointed to a few bottles of shampoos. I thought the way those fingers were lifted, it was as if the owner was having a manicure. Well...the promoter turned out to be a "pondan"!
My Point? The way a guy lifts his fingers indicates whether he is straight or not. Fingers send out significant signals. In fact, if you care to be polite, be discreet with your index finger. For Malaysians, it is rude to point with the index finger, instead, loosely double your fist and extend the thumb to point.
How can I not discuss the eyes? To make eye contact is the very basis of communication. A word of caution first of all: avoid eye contact with many Malaysian drivers who are prone to road rage. The notion about the way Indians say "yes" with body language is to move their heads quickly from side to side which many Westerners misinteprete as " no": Strangely, none of my Indian friends do this. Rather, their large and expressive eyes twinkle with delight to let me know it is a " yes".
In a culture where couples holding hands and kissing in public are frowned upon, eye contact thus plays an important role in pursuing a relationship be it an honourable courtship or, flirting. Good-looking guys who are not looking for romances get surprises,sometimes. A lady who is a complete stranger, approached an Aussie friend of mine and asked to be his wife. He jokingly told her that he already had two but she persisted and asked to be his third wife! All of this stemmed from a friendly nod... Let us recap the body language in Malaysian context:
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